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Thursday, March 22, 2012

Where are their mothers????

"Give me dollars, give me dollars, give me, please, I pray
Give me dollars, give me dollars ..." I hear this ev’ry day

 Little children on the roadway, dodging twixt the cars
Knocking at the drivers' windows, begging, "Please" for alms


Lurking yonder, 'tween the houses, see the gang boss wait
Taking all those hard-begged dollars, hiding by the gate
Money goes into their pockets, nothing for the kids
"Give me dollars, please, I beg you ..." (for the boss, who's hid)


Children taken from their mothers, often far away
Begging, begging for their masters ev’ry single day.
Such young children, five, six, seven, forced to work like this
Speaking pidgin languages, without a mother’s kiss.


You’ll find them on the streets of London, Paris and Beirut
Pulling at the good folks’ heartstrings, (masters count the loot)
Kind folk know the kids get beaten if they don’t prevail
So, their begging gets them dollars, helps them not to fail.


In the doss-house, at the day’s end, kids sleep on the floor
Huddled, hungry, dirty, lonely … missing Mother, sore …
‘Aunty’ counts money with ‘Uncle’, drinks her bottle dry,
Goes and slaps a weeping girl-child “I’ll teach you not to cry!”
                                                                      Patricia Eastwood

Every single morning, I pass by those little kids on my way from home to work. I took those pictures not letting them notice me, as I didn't want to frighten them. When my children complain about not having all the things they wish for in life, I can't help comparing them to those little angels abandoned on the streets in the cold winter or under a burning sun.
Do they eat enough? Do they ever go to see a doctor when feeling sick? do they have the necessary vaccination done? Does anyone teach them to read? do they ever laugh? Are they beaten, abused or raped? Do they know who their parents are? Are they loved? Are they HAPPY?

Are they happy? I think that is the hardest question. My first reaction would be to answer: "of course, they're not!!! How can they be happy living under these conditions?" That was my answer, and that was what I first wrote.
My day started really bad yesterday, and ended even worse. It was Mother's day and my children were upset that I didn't stay with them so that they could wish me a happy mother's day. I had decided not to avoid them this year, but I couldn't. I have failed in that. Not only did I avoid them, but I totally ignored them, and their loving wishes. I read a lot of disappointment and sadness in their eyes this morning, and I am blaming myself and hate what I have done. My mind was elsewhere. I was facing troubles at work, I was facing my own emotions. I was facing the abuse my son and I had to endure that morning from their father. I was also facing my guilt feeling, my eternal companion that keeps reminding me how useless I am in all my different roles, how dependent I can be on others love, how fear of abandonment can still sometimes take control of my life.

Are my own children happy? How could I allow myself to compare them with others? Happiness is relative. There are no specific life conditions to define happiness or create it. Those abandoned children might be much happier than others if they accept their life, if they know nothing else to compare with. Do they really know at their age how important it is to go to school if their parents never had education anyway? Are they upset for not having the most recent video game if they never watched TV anyway? Do they feel the need to buy a chocolate if they never tasted it? I'm not sure.

While starting this post now, I was angry against those kids mothers, but now..... I just don't know.......

Thank you Pat for the beautiful/sad poem you wrote specially for this post. I love it <3

22 comments:

  1. Patricia EastwoodMarch 22, 2012 at 5:58 AM

    Speechless, Nikky ...
    I wrote it all out in that wee poem ...
    I'm so glad I don't see this is Leeds or Wakefield
    Does this mean I'm callous?
    That I bury my head in the sand?
    I don't know ... you see this daily ... what would I do?
    I don't know ...

    I don't know ...

    What I DO know is ...
    it HURTS my heart ... the mother in me.

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    1. I know it hurts your heart, I know how you felt after writing this poem.I hurt too.
      Love you <3

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  2. It is beautiful Pat, and Nikky, I love how you bring awareness in and from this place you can do differently, hug and connect, when in doubt, always chose hug and connect.

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    1. Thank you Jodi. The idea I wanted to write about is not exactly what I did. I wanted to write more about those kid's life, but that came out just like that.
      I'm not sure I understand what you mean exactly by this: "when in doubt, always chose hug and connect"?

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  3. Nikki, the images of those children just broke my heart! How utterly tragic to spend your childhood living in these circumstances! Pat's poem effectively makes us cognizant of the struggle of these youngsters. Poignant and a mindful reminder that pain is all too real for some people.

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    1. I love the fact that you are reading my blog, thank you Bella.

      As for the pain those children are going through, it is real and awful, but there is worse.
      If I feel one day strong enough to do so, I will maybe share some of the war experiences :(

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  4. Heartbreaking. It's the same all over the world, too: poverty and the exploitation of children. We were in Cambodia recently and I couldn't help but feel strange, almost guilty, about the attentions I was giving my own daughters -- making sure they we wearing their sun hats, carrying them over uneven rocks, remembering to pack fresh, cold water for wherever we were going, etc. -- when I saw the local conditions. In a sense, it was hard for me to understand what was happening: small children begging for my help and I couldn't do anything to help them; difficult to understand, and terrible to process.

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    1. I agree with you Emily. Sometimes we feel helpless. I do. Whatever i try, those kids are still there. I mean i can do nothing more than give them something to eat when i pass by them in the morning.

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  5. Nikky I feel so much for you and what you must go through as a mother, when you are being hurt yourself. All I know is how much love you have for your children; it is easy to read that in your posts. What I think Jodi means is that when your worries and pain start to overwhelm you--and then, on top of that, you start feeling guilty for not being a perfect mom--reaching out and hugging your kids goes a long way.

    I say that from experience. Sometimes I get caught up inside my own self criticism and worries about not accomplishing what I want to that I have to fight the impulse to avoid my children. When I'm feeling inadequate, it's hard to be needed. Still, I'll make myself smile and pull them in for hugs, listen to their stories of school, I am always glad I did. Being connected to them in this way helps me get out of the negative thoughts. I think that connection may be a mother's greatest strength.
    ((( ))) that is a hug from me.

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    1. Thank you so much Lisa. I'm sure you are right and I must get closer to them instead of isolating myself. Sometimes I feel like protecting myself from loving them or protecting them by not letting them love me. It can sound silly, but I think it's due to all the fear of losing my parents I had as a child. Thank you so much Lisa <3 <3 <3

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  6. Nikky, This is a beautiful post. The poem is beautiful too. You have made me more aware of a problem, the exploitation of children around the world, that is all too easy for me to forget. I am so sorry that you have your own troubles and think what a huge heart you must have to also care about others the way you obviously do. Thank you for writing so beautifully and honestly.

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    1. Thank you so much Tina for your very nice comment. Whatever is happening in my life, I always know that others are going through worse, and that always makes me need to do something, to react and try to change things.
      Children are not treated well at all in my country, and I mean all of them, not only those abandoned on the streets.
      You give me a big smile when I read what you said about writing so beautifully. I never thought I could write until I tried. Thank you <3

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  7. This is a tragic and heartbreaking thing, that we as a society treat children as so disposable. I only hope that someday it will not be so.

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    1. Yes Beverly, it is tragic. What makes it even worse is that last week a man was beating one of the little boys on the streets and a policeman was just watching and had no reaction.

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  8. Nikki,
    Please know that "YOU ARE NOT ALONE."

    Sending you love love love.

    Xxx

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    1. Thank you Kim, thank you so much. By reading your comments, and other posts, I know that I am not alone and that there is certainly someone out there who understands and care, but sometimes however you try to think positive, you just can't feel it. Thank you for your loving heart <3

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  9. I hate to see kids suffering in any way. My daughter is my world and I can't imagine a mother not feeling the same way about her child. It breaks my heart.

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    1. I totally understand. It also break my heart to see children and elderly people abandoned and suffering, and the worst is when my children are suffering :(

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  10. Wow. Your words pierced my heart. I can hardly stand the thought of children being used or abused, and yet as I read what you had to say, I realized that without loving care and compassion in our life, how do we even know we're being used/abused?
    You gave me a fresh way of looking at life with your words. Thank you for a meaningful post.

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    1. Thank you very much Brenda for your comment. When we don't know our rights, we don't claim them nor realize we're not getting them, and that is a problem when we can't change the situation. When I didn't know I was abused, it was less frustrating :(

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  11. Nikky - I too see a lot of children in similar situations in India. However, what got me was your own struggles with your kids...You need to be a little easy on yourself - guilt is never helpful. You have a lot on your hands - I'm sure your children understand.

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  12. You are right Corinne. In fact my children are great and they really understand. They are supporting me most of times, but the problem is that having their father around constantly blaming me for anything, and having his mother living with us and doing just the same, blaming me became also my children's reaction when they need to defend myself. A bad grade at school is mum's fault, getting sick is mum's fault she didn't remind me to put my coat on, i didn't do my homework, etc...

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