I was commenting on a Blog post "what does family mean to you", and my answer was that my real family is now my online friends. I say this and repeat it always, but I still feel I can't really explain to what extent I mean it.
My blood family have known nothing about me since February 2011. They just believe the mask they see, and don't even try and ask. I know they discuss "me" among themselves, because I sometimes receive messages like: "I'm so happy to know things are great again at home" (no one asked if they were), or things like "what a good news you stopped your therapy" (why would that be good news, if you don't even care to ask why I stopped?). Two days ago, I was told; "I'm so glad you are not posting any status update on facebook, it was depressing me".
Anyways, that is only to explain why I feel more comfortable with my online friends. It's because they care and are not afraid to show it. They believe me even if they have no proof I am saying the truth. They say they love me, and dare to show it. They listen, understand, and don't blame or criticize. They fill my heart with smiles and love, and help me forget the sadness and tears.
My Online friends changed my life, they brought me back to life, but I still feel so alone sometimes. Something is still missing.
I had a very bad day and wished someone would keep me company. I felt very sick for the last two days, and so wished I had someone I could call :(
I am a much stronger person, so different, but I still need your love as I still feel lonely.
I need your love. You ALL have mine :)